Good morning my dear T-Talk Community Members………
I am sure you can relate to the following expression of feelings & emotions:
- I feel lost – I don’t know what to do
- I feel lonely in this world – there is no one who cares for me
- I don’t know why, despite my trying so hard, I never succeed
- I always end up on the losing side no matter what I do right
- Others are ahead of me – maybe it is me who is the problem
Such negative thoughts and feelings cross everyone’s mind. People wallow in self-pity and self-sympathy and feel sorry for their plight. It is then all blamed on fate and destiny.
Touch your heart and think honestly, haven’t you felt these emotions and expression of your feelings at some point of time or the other? If you haven’t then I must say you are an exceptionally positive and winning personality, but truth be told, I am sure an over-whelming majority of you have experienced what I have mentioned above.
So then, is it wrong to feel sorry for one self? Is it wrong to pity your plight? Haven’t you done all that you could which was in your hands to correct the situation but despite that due to play of fate, you ended up in that state? Then what is wrong in feeling sorry for yourself? After all, you deserve it…….
My dear friends, here lies the crux…..you are feeling sorry for yourself and you want people to sympathize with you. You want people to see your sorry state and say “Poor guy / girl”, or “Oh what bad luck he / she is undergoing”, or “How can fate be so cruel on him / her”. By hearing a few words of sympathy, are the things going to change? Will your fate or destiny take a turn for the better? The answer is “NO” – you will remain in the same situation you are in, but the people who have heard your feelings and emotions and who have sympathized with you will have a different outlook towards you.
The ones who genuinely care about you will start wondering whether there is something wrong with you, while others who have expressed “outward concern & care” will in fact get an opportunity to gossip about your failures and inabilities to get a control over your life. The pity will remain, but it will be shallow and not from the heart.
So today’s valuable lesson to learn is that “There is no market for your emotions – So never advertise your feelings, Just show your attitude”
If you need to pick yourself up and get yourself out of the situation you are in, it is only your own attitude and self-belief in your abilities that will help you reach the shore of safety. Remember, if you feel you are defeated – you are! Till the time you don’t give up, you will never be defeated. Winning in a war is all about attitude which you put on as your armor. A positive attitude can help you tide over the worst of conditions and get you out of the most depressing situations in life.
It is only over when you think it is – till the time you are mentally in the zone and fighting, that “never-say-die” attitude will keep you alive and kicking.
So why show the world your despair and your downfall – whatever is there, it is yours to tend to. Do not look at others for pity or sympathy, put on a positive attitude and go bravely to the battlefield of life. Take on life’s challenges and no matter how hard they hit you, never give up – that is what is going to help you come out a winner always
Dr. Rajesh Mankani
